Done with school…for now.

It’s been a while since I’ve written in here. I just completed 10 weeks of Front End Web Development class; I really learned a lot and I’m happy that I can use this for work-related stuff – which I’m already doing. There were times when I wanted to drop it, I didn’t want to drive to Santa Monica, blah blah blah, excuses excuses but I stuck it out. It also helps that my instructor was very helpful and encouraging. Even though I am naturally quiet and don’t ask a lot of questions, I really appreciated the whole learning experience and it was inspiring to see everyone’s final project.

I hope to keep the learning spark going. It’s quite easy to get demotivated and to slip back into laziness. This post is a reminder to not get lazy!

I haven’t been drawing or sketching…

and I’m kinda mad at myself for not doing so. I keep putting it off, like it’s this huge undertaking that I have to do…but I know it doesn’t have to be. I hope to start making it a regular habit again, and not be so harsh on myself if I’m not creating anything cool or worthy of a social media post. Just allowing my mind to wander on paper.

Suffering for the actions of others

If one person takes advantage of a situation and eventually gets caught…

usually his or her peers are the ones who have to pay for it.

Be mindful of your actions and be considerate towards your fellow man / woman.

You caught me in a different time, with a different mind…

Some people probably wonder why I don’t paint graffiti as much as I used to. The answer to that is: I don’t know.

Perhaps all the magical & alluring things that attracted me to it in the first place have gone. Maybe I just got old and lazy. Maybe certain life events made me lose motivation & my desire to paint / create. Maybe I was building up my ego through it and it no longer serves me. Maybe I put a lot of my time & energy at work. I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out myself. I’m still hoping I will get that fire back but in the meantime – I’m focusing on just living a simple life, enjoying it day by day and learning the things that I want to learn for personal growth (and to keep myself employed).

The bottom line is: it doesn’t really matter what people think…as long as YOU’RE happy right now. And I am happy with the life I created for myself.

Attitude adjustment

I wish I had more interesting things to say on here; but most of the time I am just a broken record, perpetually bitching about something work-related. Hooray.

Most of the things that irritate me have to do with other people. So what’s the solution here…not work with people? That in itself just sounds impossible and ridiculous. Sure it might be fun for a little bit. And as much as I can’t stand working and being around too many people we all need someone to bounce ideas off each other.

I am a small group type of person myself. I work best with people who are open-minded and have different points of views, but we can also come to an agreement on something without our egos getting in the way and move forward. I can’t stand when people make me change things based on their personal preference or because they don’t like something or because they just “know it all”.

So where is this post going and why is it called “Attitude adjustment”? I’m trying to keep my negativity to a minimum. I no longer want to dwell on it or express it too much because if I do…that is all I will continue to get in return. Not to say I’m going to be this super happy, positive, optimistic person 24/7, but I’m sure you get my drift.

It’s all about intentions and manifesting good things.


Whenever something I love becomes popular or trendy, I lose interest; I tend to go the opposite way and look for something else to get into. Same goes with subject matter in my artwork; if other people start to paint the same things, then it’s time for me to change it up. I might be going in a weird direction and nobody might not like it as much, but does it matter? If it feels right to you, then that’s all that matters. And so here I am on this lonely trip to nowhere, exploring the outer regions of nothingness…

A quote from Saul Bass

I want everything we do to be beautiful. I don’t give a damn whether the client understands that that’s worth anything, or that the client thinks it’s worth anything, or whether it is worth anything. It’s worth it to me. It’s the way I want to live my life. I want to make beautiful things, even if nobody cares.

The Hermit IX

I keep trying to figure out where it is I actually fit in…and I’ve come to realize that I really don’t (or won’t ever) fit in anywhere. And so be it.

The Hermit card has been coming up a lot for me. When you look at the card, it doesn’t seem like anything is going on (an old man on top of a mountain, carrying a stick and lantern). And yet he carries a lantern that is illuminated; everything is happening inward for the Hermit, going on some kind of journey and searching within yourself, questioning things about your life, coming up with your own answers and getting to know yourself better along the way so you don’t repeat certain destructive thought patterns.

To those who feel alone, just know that you are never alone. There are unseen energies constantly guiding you, helping you on a very subtle level.

To those who feel like nothing’s happening for them in this life, be patient. Things never happen at the time you want them to, but they will happen. It will all make sense when you look back later on.

Just Be Good To Me – The S.O.S Band

Even when you feel miserable, there’s always something to be grateful for…so count your blessings ESPECIALLY when you’re feeling down. Remember that it could always be worse.

Death XIII


I’m still learning about the tarot; what I’ve discovered in the last few months is that every time I pull cards (around 3 to 5), certain cards will appear to me over and over every few days or so until the person or event it’s alluding to comes in to your life and then you say to yourself ‘Ah, so that’s what it was’. Well today, Death appeared to me this morning unexpectedly; but as today’s events unfolded, the card made total sense.

Divinatory meaning: an important ending that will initiate great change. It signals the end of an era, a moment when a door is closing.

some not-so-random thoughts


I can’t sleep so here I am talking to myself…

- work’s been whatever. too many pointless meetings and I hate it. I want out but not even sure what I want to do next; I think as long as I’m designing, learning, growing and being challenged; have awesome, drama-free co-workers and not have to be in stupid meetings, I’m happy. I don’t have too many demands. life’s never perfect though, there’s always some kind of catch even when I get what I want.

- because work’s been whatever, I’ve been considering going part-time or freelance or both. Oh and btw, if you or someone you know needs a simple website done, I can do that.

- other than that, life’s been good to me. I really can’t ask for anything more than maybe a bigger place to live. I used to want more money, but even that comes with more stress and expectations to do more than what’s on your plate. I also want to visit friends minus the travel anxieties.

- I had a great weekend; it’s good to be around genuinely nice, chill people. I’d like to thank my husband for getting everything handled. I would be lost without him.

- I’d rather be alone and have no friends than associate with douchebags; if that’s the company you keep then I probably won’t come around. too many people play the fake humble card now, I can still see right through you. you may be an awesome artist to the clueless, adoring public but first impressions don’t lie; you’re still a mega-douche.



So much for trying to blog regularly on here…work’s been keeping me stupid busy. I’ve been plotting my exit strategy, but it might take some time. And I must mentally get out of my comfort zone; even though you don’t like what’s happening you start to get used to the way things are, becoming more resistant to change. I think that’s how most people live their lives, being comfortably miserable and feeling like they don’t deserve something better.

At least I got to paint a little with old friends, albeit rusty! Perhaps you will see more from me this year…maybe. Maybe, baby.

2005 post

There was a time when I was obsessing over graffiti when I was coming up; I was digging thru old files recently and found this:


Wow, I sound really dumb…and yet there is some truth in it. Life is weird like that.

Tuesday – January 1st, 2013

Man’s most destructive qualities unleashed. Great caution and awareness necessary in business or personal relationship. (Morgan-Greer tarot deck booklet)

This is the first card I pulled of the first day of the year. Though the image is powerful and ominous, I’ve acquainted myself with the image of the devil over the years, so much that I no longer fear it. It is a representation of man and what we are capable of when we don’t put ourselves in check.

The years following my mom’s passing, my subconscious turned to dark energy – books, music & imagery for solace. She was a Christian woman who always shoved religion down my throat and so when she passed, it felt natural to explore the opposite of Christianity.

Though I don’t subscribe to any religion now, I’m learning every day that both forces are needed – dark/light, positive/negative, what we perceive to be good/bad to live a balanced life.

How fitting that this card would come up in the time of Capricorn.

Modern Proverbs

*Most are mine, some I’ve read from other people…

1. The more you get to know certain people and what they’re really about, the more you end up despising them. It is better to keep your distance. Thus the term “frenemies”.

2. Continue to be creative, whether you have an audience or not. When you do have an audience, you fall into the trap of creating what they want to see out of you – not what you want to actually create. Don’t be a crowd-pleaser.

3. Most people think they are being “weird and different” – little do they know that they are really just followers, unconsciously jumping on to the next hip thing.

4. The best way to support artists is to actually buy their art.

5. Unless you are some kind of celebrity, if you don’t know how to compliment or like other people’s stuff (online or in real life), then don’t expect much in return. Karma works in the same exact way online. But then again, don’t force it if you really don’t like anything at all! There’s a fine line between pity-liking, pity-following and being you. If you can’t decide between the three, then definitely be YOU.

6. Find your inspiration in the rarest of places, because the internet is played out.

7. Be mysterious and full of surprises – don’t show everything you do on the internet!

8. Be random in these times of predictability.

9. People (even the person who wrote this) will contradict themselves. If you don’t know who or what to believe in, believe in yourself.


The card above represents my zodiac sign, Sagittarius. Combination of forces, realization, action based on accurate calculation; the way of escape, success after elaborate manoeuvres. This card is from the Thoth deck, beautifully illustrated by Lady Frieda Harris.

The change that I was looking for (see my blog post about the Magician a few months ago) was not anything material (like a new job, which I thought was going to happen). I thought that was what I wanted to happen – because that’s what I normally do when I don’t like my work situation, but apparently I’m still here for whatever reason I have yet to discover.

Anyways, the change was on a spiritual, more personal level. Learning the tarot has enhanced my way of thinking and allowed me to unlock all this hidden knowledge that’s connected to it. I basically fell into the rabbit hole of the unknown, yet made known to those who genuinely seek it. I didn’t even have any intentions of learning the tarot; my only (logical) explanation for this is that I was so bored and unchallenged at work for some time now; my life, art, whatever passion I had…was not moving in any direction. The universe somehow answered my call and here I am, forever transformed. I’m not where I want to be yet, but at least I know and trust my intuition that I am on the right path. I will forever be the student, trying to understand the greater mysteries of life.

How to find a job in the graphic design field

I titled this post so it has a better chance of popping up on the search engines. Bare with me here as I’m doing an SEO experiment and practicing my writing skills.

This post is intended to help those who might happen to stumble upon this. A lot of people who are into art, graffiti or anything creative usually gravitate towards a career that suits them. So most of those people segue into Graphic Design, Graphic Art, Web Design, etc. or even a combination of those and more.

I’ve been browsing the Craigslist forums lately and the most consistently expressed statement out there is: “I need a job”.

This is a partial list of what I think will help you land that job (or at least point you in the right direction):

1. You will have to do some serious self-assessment. Ask yourself some questions like:
What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?
How much do you need to live decently?
How far are you willing to drive/move?
What is your minimum & maximum salary requirement?
What else would you consider as a career if the first plan doesn’t work out?

2. Write down jobs that you think will match your skill sets.
The great thing about being in Graphic Design is that there are many avenues that you can choose. And if one doesn’t work out for whatever reason, you can always fall back on something that you don’t enjoy as much, but can still do. Or you can do a little bit of everything. It’s really up to you. The world is yours. Ha.

3. Keep on learning and keep your skill sets up to date.
You will have A LOT of down time while you’re sending out resumés. Use that time wisely to learn something new that will be beneficial to when you actually have a job. It will also keep your mind occupied in the meantime. Create projects for yourself, pick out something that you would like to redesign or recreate. Practice even when it seems useless. There are so many resources out there – think of the internet as your library. Let Google be your guide to free knowledge.

4. Scenario: You’re angry that you wasted that time going to college, accumulating a lot of debt – only to land a low-paying or minimum wage job. What do you do?
I actually used to envy those that DID go to college and got their degrees. I always thought that those with degrees would get the best jobs. And that still holds true if you are really good but times are changing rapidly and you will be competing with those who have actual work experience. The reality is, you might have that college degree but you will still start at the bottom of the pay scale once you get that job and you will have to build your way up again. That’s how it goes. You have to show and prove yourself no matter where you go. Everybody has to start somewhere.

5. Another scenario: You’ve got tons of work experience but you can’t find a job. What do you do?
Find another niche to get into; one that is not as popular or as glamourous but will pay you consistently, even during hard times (like now). Most designers who start off want that cool job, the one that will turn them into rockstars. Go the opposite way, it’s less competitive.

6. Be patient, your time will come.
Often times we want things to happen NOW, but that’s rarely the case. The universe works in mysterious ways, and when it’s YOUR time, it will happen. Everybody gets their turn.

I will post more stuff when I think of them.