Dear Universe,

I don’t want to do print anymore. I’ve discovered in the last 6 months that I enjoy working on web stuff more than I do print. So I only want to do internet work from here on out – specifically web design work involving HTML / CSS, WordPress then Javascript & PHP eventually. I am SO bored with print, where as internet (though it can get frustrating real quick) gives me more of a challenge. I still have A LOT to learn, and I’m always learning but I can’t learn it and use what I learned consistently if I’m still stuck doing print. Bleh. I can’t stress enough how quickly I start to feel bored when I have to do print – it is the bane of my work life. Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful to be working and doing the kind of work that I am naturally good at, but I am already thinking about my next move.

The human mind never rests until it gets what it wants. It is always thinking, always looking forward to the next thing. It is never satisfied.

Sincerely,
me

Done with school…for now.

It’s been a while since I’ve written in here. I just completed 10 weeks of Front End Web Development class; I really learned a lot and I’m happy that I can use this for work-related stuff – which I’m already doing. There were times when I wanted to drop it, I didn’t want to drive to Santa Monica, blah blah blah, excuses excuses but I stuck it out. It also helps that my instructor was very helpful and encouraging. Even though I am naturally quiet and don’t ask a lot of questions, I really appreciated the whole learning experience and it was inspiring to see everyone’s final project.

I hope to keep the learning spark going. It’s quite easy to get demotivated and to slip back into laziness. This post is a reminder to not get lazy!

Red+Green

Quick watercolor painting, festive colors for the Christmas holiday. I hope to fill up this website again with more of my drawings & paintings. Shermgrafik.com will be 10 years old in 2014! The website and myself have evolved / changed so much since 2004. I never imagined myself as someone who would eventually grasp Web Design & Development, let alone know how to code. Technology changes rapidly and I’m still finding myself learning something new every day.

I haven’t been drawing or sketching…

and I’m kinda mad at myself for not doing so. I keep putting it off, like it’s this huge undertaking that I have to do…but I know it doesn’t have to be. I hope to start making it a regular habit again, and not be so harsh on myself if I’m not creating anything cool or worthy of a social media post. Just allowing my mind to wander on paper.

You caught me in a different time, with a different mind…

Some people probably wonder why I don’t paint graffiti as much as I used to. The answer to that is: I don’t know.

Perhaps all the magical & alluring things that attracted me to it in the first place have gone. Maybe I just got old and lazy. Maybe certain life events made me lose motivation & my desire to paint / create. Maybe I was building up my ego through it and it no longer serves me. Maybe I put a lot of my time & energy at work. I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out myself. I’m still hoping I will get that fire back but in the meantime – I’m focusing on just living a simple life, enjoying it day by day and learning the things that I want to learn for personal growth (and to keep myself employed).

The bottom line is: it doesn’t really matter what people think…as long as YOU’RE happy right now. And I am happy with the life I created for myself.

Bunny ice cream time machine

bunny ice cream by sherm

I look back and wonder who this person was – the person who painted bunnies, clouds & ice cream themes at some point. Only a handful of people know me from that world now, while most others know me as their quiet, hard-working, quirky & artistic co-worker.

Still the same person but older & different I guess. A paradox.

Attitude adjustment

I wish I had more interesting things to say on here; but most of the time I am just a broken record, perpetually bitching about something work-related. Hooray.

Most of the things that irritate me have to do with other people. So what’s the solution here…not work with people? That in itself just sounds impossible and ridiculous. Sure it might be fun for a little bit. And as much as I can’t stand working and being around too many people we all need someone to bounce ideas off each other.

I am a small group type of person myself. I work best with people who are open-minded and have different points of views, but we can also come to an agreement on something without our egos getting in the way and move forward. I can’t stand when people make me change things based on their personal preference or because they don’t like something or because they just “know it all”.

So where is this post going and why is it called “Attitude adjustment”? I’m trying to keep my negativity to a minimum. I no longer want to dwell on it or express it too much because if I do…that is all I will continue to get in return. Not to say I’m going to be this super happy, positive, optimistic person 24/7, but I’m sure you get my drift.

It’s all about intentions and manifesting good things.

“Illuminated”

Title: Illuminated
Medium: Pen and watercolor
Size: 12″x 12″
Email: pia@shermgrafik.com if you are interested in purchasing this painting (unframed).

This painting came out of nowhere for me; meaning I didn’t plan on creating such a composition, it just turned out that way. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been learning to trust my intuition more (even though a lot of the times it just sounds like I’m talking to myself silently A LOT); and that is what this painting sort of reflects.

Unpopularity

Whenever something I love becomes popular or trendy, I lose interest; I tend to go the opposite way and look for something else to get into. Same goes with subject matter in my artwork; if other people start to paint the same things, then it’s time for me to change it up. I might be going in a weird direction and nobody might not like it as much, but does it matter? If it feels right to you, then that’s all that matters. And so here I am on this lonely trip to nowhere, exploring the outer regions of nothingness…

The Hermit IX

I keep trying to figure out where it is I actually fit in…and I’ve come to realize that I really don’t (or won’t ever) fit in anywhere. And so be it.

The Hermit card has been coming up a lot for me. When you look at the card, it doesn’t seem like anything is going on (an old man on top of a mountain, carrying a stick and lantern). And yet he carries a lantern that is illuminated; everything is happening inward for the Hermit, going on some kind of journey and searching within yourself, questioning things about your life, coming up with your own answers and getting to know yourself better along the way so you don’t repeat certain destructive thought patterns.

To those who feel alone, just know that you are never alone. There are unseen energies constantly guiding you, helping you on a very subtle level.

To those who feel like nothing’s happening for them in this life, be patient. Things never happen at the time you want them to, but they will happen. It will all make sense when you look back later on.

Death XIII

death13-albano-waite-tarot

I’m still learning about the tarot; what I’ve discovered in the last few months is that every time I pull cards (around 3 to 5), certain cards will appear to me over and over every few days or so until the person or event it’s alluding to comes in to your life and then you say to yourself ‘Ah, so that’s what it was’. Well today, Death appeared to me this morning unexpectedly; but as today’s events unfolded, the card made total sense.

Divinatory meaning: an important ending that will initiate great change. It signals the end of an era, a moment when a door is closing.

some not-so-random thoughts

blah

I can’t sleep so here I am talking to myself…

- work’s been whatever. too many pointless meetings and I hate it. I want out but not even sure what I want to do next; I think as long as I’m designing, learning, growing and being challenged; have awesome, drama-free co-workers and not have to be in stupid meetings, I’m happy. I don’t have too many demands. life’s never perfect though, there’s always some kind of catch even when I get what I want.

- because work’s been whatever, I’ve been considering going part-time or freelance or both. Oh and btw, if you or someone you know needs a simple website done, I can do that.

- other than that, life’s been good to me. I really can’t ask for anything more than maybe a bigger place to live. I used to want more money, but even that comes with more stress and expectations to do more than what’s on your plate. I also want to visit friends minus the travel anxieties.

- I had a great weekend; it’s good to be around genuinely nice, chill people. I’d like to thank my husband for getting everything handled. I would be lost without him.

- I’d rather be alone and have no friends than associate with douchebags; if that’s the company you keep then I probably won’t come around. too many people play the fake humble card now, I can still see right through you. you may be an awesome artist to the clueless, adoring public but first impressions don’t lie; you’re still a mega-douche.

S13

sherm2013

So much for trying to blog regularly on here…work’s been keeping me stupid busy. I’ve been plotting my exit strategy, but it might take some time. And I must mentally get out of my comfort zone; even though you don’t like what’s happening you start to get used to the way things are, becoming more resistant to change. I think that’s how most people live their lives, being comfortably miserable and feeling like they don’t deserve something better.

At least I got to paint a little with old friends, albeit rusty! Perhaps you will see more from me this year…maybe. Maybe, baby.

Remember your death…

I wish my mind would quiet itself; I have yet to master the art of meditation. I’ve learned though, that creating & staring at something like this actually puts my mind in a similar state. We are everything and nothing at the same time, a paradox.

skull_2013

2005 post

There was a time when I was obsessing over graffiti when I was coming up; I was digging thru old files recently and found this:

shermgrafik-2005.jpg

Wow, I sound really dumb…and yet there is some truth in it. Life is weird like that.

Tuesday – January 1st, 2013

Man’s most destructive qualities unleashed. Great caution and awareness necessary in business or personal relationship. (Morgan-Greer tarot deck booklet)

This is the first card I pulled of the first day of the year. Though the image is powerful and ominous, I’ve acquainted myself with the image of the devil over the years, so much that I no longer fear it. It is a representation of man and what we are capable of when we don’t put ourselves in check.

The years following my mom’s passing, my subconscious turned to dark energy – books, music & imagery for solace. She was a Christian woman who always shoved religion down my throat and so when she passed, it felt natural to explore the opposite of Christianity.

Though I don’t subscribe to any religion now, I’m learning every day that both forces are needed – dark/light, positive/negative, what we perceive to be good/bad to live a balanced life.

How fitting that this card would come up in the time of Capricorn.

Modern Proverbs

*Most are mine, some I’ve read from other people…

1. The more you get to know certain people and what they’re really about, the more you end up despising them. It is better to keep your distance. Thus the term “frenemies”.

2. Continue to be creative, whether you have an audience or not. When you do have an audience, you fall into the trap of creating what they want to see out of you – not what you want to actually create. Don’t be a crowd-pleaser.

3. Most people think they are being “weird and different” – little do they know that they are really just followers, unconsciously jumping on to the next hip thing.

4. The best way to support artists is to actually buy their art.

5. Unless you are some kind of celebrity, if you don’t know how to compliment or like other people’s stuff (online or in real life), then don’t expect much in return. Karma works in the same exact way online. But then again, don’t force it if you really don’t like anything at all! There’s a fine line between pity-liking, pity-following and being you. If you can’t decide between the three, then definitely be YOU.

6. Find your inspiration in the rarest of places, because the internet is played out.

7. Be mysterious and full of surprises – don’t show everything you do on the internet!

8. Be random in these times of predictability.

9. People (even the person who wrote this) will contradict themselves. If you don’t know who or what to believe in, believe in yourself.

VITRIOL

The card above represents my zodiac sign, Sagittarius. Combination of forces, realization, action based on accurate calculation; the way of escape, success after elaborate manoeuvres. This card is from the Thoth deck, beautifully illustrated by Lady Frieda Harris.

The change that I was looking for (see my blog post about the Magician a few months ago) was not anything material (like a new job, which I thought was going to happen). I thought that was what I wanted to happen – because that’s what I normally do when I don’t like my work situation, but apparently I’m still here for whatever reason I have yet to discover.

Anyways, the change was on a spiritual, more personal level. Learning the tarot has enhanced my way of thinking and allowed me to unlock all this hidden knowledge that’s connected to it. I basically fell into the rabbit hole of the unknown, yet made known to those who genuinely seek it. I didn’t even have any intentions of learning the tarot; my only (logical) explanation for this is that I was so bored and unchallenged at work for some time now; my life, art, whatever passion I had…was not moving in any direction. The universe somehow answered my call and here I am, forever transformed. I’m not where I want to be yet, but at least I know and trust my intuition that I am on the right path. I will forever be the student, trying to understand the greater mysteries of life.