Today would’ve been my mom’s 60th birthday. Happy Birthday Mom, life hasn’t been the same without you. I am alive yet there are days when I feel dead inside. Missing you every day.

Hello there.

The blog is going down temporarily…well not really but I’m taking the links down from the main site and I won’t be posting as much. If you are a regular visitor or you’re Googling something that I blogged about then I’m sure you can still find it. I’m actively looking for a job and for some reason I feel like I can’t be myself on here without feeling like I’m lowering my chances of getting hired. To most employers, a person who is into tattoos, graffiti, images of a dark nature etc. implies that they are most likely irresponsible and will cause trouble. Not always true, but you get my drift. People are quick to judge. So to avoid all of that, I’m going to try and be “quiet” online or just keep it PG-13 around here. Borrring! I’m not sure when it will return, maybe tomorrow? Because once I do this I’m sure that I’ll probably get the urge to blog again or maybe not for a while; at least until I get a job, and honestly I have no idea when that will be.

Either way, my true friends know how to get a hold of me. I’ll be lurking. Also, I want to apologize to my (very few) friends whom I never seem to call. I hope you know that I do have intentions of calling and wanting to chill, but for some reason I have always been this way: a total recluse. Working on it though, thanks for understanding.

Your pal in Jesus Christ (kidding),
Shermee Sherm

In the meantime, go to my gay little Facebook page (guess they changed it from “fan” to “like”); I might start updating it more often.

painted a couple of weeks ago. there was an open spot at Manual Arts High School and so i painted a girl. background & letterforms by Skypage. view it large here.

some type i hand-drew for my friend’s blog, i got a free lunch out of it (woohoo!). if you like images and latin phrases check out Behold A Pale White Horse

pirates & gypsies. FTW

while trying to get into tattooing last year, i did some drawings. here’s one of them. i might as well scan & post them since they are collecting dust.

by the way, while looking for a job online the other day someone replied and told me that my design portfolio was “sub-standard”.

also, i finally got Adobe CS4 installed on to my computer and just found out that they are now releasing CS5. who has money to keep up with all their damn upgrades?

welcome to my reality, FML. sometimes i wish i had picked a more practical career path, but what exactly would that be? i’m not good at anything else.

i am really going to have to step it up.

While drifting into sleep the other night, I’ve been focusing on this image. A book I’ve been reading told me to focus on it until it reveals something to me, that it will stimulate self-insights. Some of these will be very clear, as if that aspect of yourself is already well known and accepted by you. Others will be more shadowy. The book also tells you to imagine that the frame around the image is the frame of a door; step through the door and become part of the scene. Allow the scene to unfold around you and see what happens.

Well it did; I entered the “door” and started walking with the fool and a cat was following us. It was a beautiful day and we were walking towards a castle. Very scenic and picturesque. The fool seemed content and not in a hurry to get to our destination, but I was confused. I asked him a bunch of questions – “Where are we going”, “Why are we walking and wearing these ridiculous outfits” and “Why is this cat following us?”. I was getting angry and frustrated because I had no idea what was going on, yet I remained calm. I just wanted to know.

Finally the fool simply said, “Stop asking so many questions” and smiled.

And so we walked. I entered sleep and did not dream about anything.

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I have to say that after this excursion with the tarot, I am really intrigued and hope to learn something about myself. It might just be bullshit but then again it might not. Either way I have a lot of time on my hands these days and my mind seems to be open to it.

or i’m just getting older and too much information is wearing me down. yup i think that’s it.