While drifting into sleep the other night, I’ve been focusing on this image. A book I’ve been reading told me to focus on it until it reveals something to me, that it will stimulate self-insights. Some of these will be very clear, as if that aspect of yourself is already well known and accepted by you. Others will be more shadowy. The book also tells you to imagine that the frame around the image is the frame of a door; step through the door and become part of the scene. Allow the scene to unfold around you and see what happens.

Well it did; I entered the “door” and started walking with the fool and a cat was following us. It was a beautiful day and we were walking towards a castle. Very scenic and picturesque. The fool seemed content and not in a hurry to get to our destination, but I was confused. I asked him a bunch of questions – “Where are we going”, “Why are we walking and wearing these ridiculous outfits” and “Why is this cat following us?”. I was getting angry and frustrated because I had no idea what was going on, yet I remained calm. I just wanted to know.

Finally the fool simply said, “Stop asking so many questions” and smiled.

And so we walked. I entered sleep and did not dream about anything.

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I have to say that after this excursion with the tarot, I am really intrigued and hope to learn something about myself. It might just be bullshit but then again it might not. Either way I have a lot of time on my hands these days and my mind seems to be open to it.

Is there a God? I do not know.

Is man immortal? I do not know.

When I became convinced that the Universe is natural — that all the ghosts and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls of my prison crumbled and fell, the dungeon was flooded with light and all the bolts, and bars, and manacles became dust. I was no longer a servant, a serf or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide world — not even in infinite space. I was free — free to think, to express my thoughts — free to live to my own ideal — free to live for myself and those I loved — free to use all my faculties, all my senses — free to spread imagination’s wings — free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope — free to judge and determine for myself — free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds, all the “inspired” books that savages have produced, and all the barbarous legends of the past — free from popes and priests — free from all the “called” and “set apart” — free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies — free from the fear of eternal pain — free from the winged monsters of the night — free from devils, ghosts and gods. For the first time I was free. There were no prohibited places in all the realms of thought — no air, no space, where fancy could not spread her painted wings — no chains for my limbs — no lashes for my back — no fires for my flesh — no master’s frown or threat — no following another’s steps — no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words. I was free. I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously, faced all worlds.

…Let us be true to ourselves — true to the facts we know, and let us, above all things, preserve the veracity of our souls.

Source: Why I Am Agnostic

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ajourneyroundmyskull/sets/72157623325108870/

http://www.atariarchives.org/artist/index.php

it’s funny: a lot of the times you get hella embarrassed being around your own people and of course you spend the first 30 years of your life trying to get away from them but at the same time, when they’re not around…you kinda miss them. you miss the embarrassing shit, the fobbiness of your culture, a relative who chews with their mouth open, or the aunt who is quick to tell you you’re fat. i’m sure you know what i mean.

you’re looking for one thing in particular and end up finding something else. oh how i love you, interweb. i’m also curious as to what this book has to say.